What is honoring?
What exactly is honoring? I’ve been sitting with that word for a while.
Sure, the dictionary definition is "high respect; great esteem." But what does it mean to honor parts of ourselves, our lineage, and our transitions when we don’t always hold the highest respect or esteem for them?
Since I’m open about my mental health, I never feel shame discussing my journey or my struggles. I came to peace with it years ago after a panic attack. The more I shared, the more I realized how many others had walked a similar path. Slowly, the burden of shame melted away, and I found a certain freedom in the sweet togetherness of being seen.
Recently, though, my panic returned—triggered by suddenly recalling a challenging experience from my childhood. It came loudly and unexpectedly, surfacing feelings I hadn’t fully addressed.
The next day, I found myself licking my wounds, feeling like I had somehow failed—failed to see the signs, failed to regulate myself, failed to…wait, wtf did I fail at exactly?
Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I am a human who had a complex mental health experience with a very understandable reaction to a disturbing memory.
That's when the magic of compassion entered. My compassion whispered, “This isn’t for nothing. I’m here to help cleanse you and create forgiveness.”
Forgiveness for whom? At first, I didn’t know. But then, it clicked.
Oh! I get it. Forgiveness for myself.
When panic arises, it’s easy to spiral into self-blame, feeling like I’ve failed in some way. But when I pause and say, “I see you. I honor the part of me that feels afraid, overwhelmed, or triggered,” I shift from self-criticism to self-compassion. I recognize that these feelings deserve space, rather than being pushed aside or viewed as weaknesses.
That’s when I realized what it truly means to honor—not just the parts of myself I’m proud of, but the pieces I’ve hidden away, the stories I’ve buried, the grief I carry, and the moments I’ve felt ashamed of. Honoring is about making space for my full self—past, present, and future.
As we enter October, the veil between worlds thins, inviting us to honor all of these aspects—ourselves, our ancestors, and the transitions we face, even when they come without ease or grace. May we all enter this month with a love that comes with hand to heart, head bowed slightly, offering words of understanding and compassion for our journeys.